the fifth (:

back from kimjee's(: its nice to spend time with the whole family once in a while, laughing and eating and chatting about random stuff. kinship is one thing that will never ever change, and you got to treasure all the times you have with these people because they bring you the joy that you will never experience elsewhere, except with your loved ones.

back on track. today was a good day. started off with washing clothes and household chores. decided to donate blood and went all the way to toa payoh cc to do the good deed but i was rejected due to low iron count. wasted my trip, but its okay, i had many conversations with the people at the blood donation drive. they are all nice people. proceeded to PS after that, got the stuff i wanted, bought a belt, came back home, took a short nap, and its already 5 plus in the evening, headed down to swim, swam 20 laps (i am super proud of myself) bathe, walked home, went to kimjee's, ate a wonderfully cooked meal by ASK, had fun, came back home at 12:30.

all in all, today was an awesome day(:

20% legendary

i love this title cause its spastic and nobody knows what this is all about except the nerdy few who derive joy and pleasure from sounding horns(:

its 10:29am and i am tired already. let me tell you why. got a morning call from D at 7:40am when i slept at 2 last night. couldn't get back to sleep although i was really sleepy. headed down to swim till 9:45am, talked to lifeguard uncle, shower, went to 7-11, ate potato salad, came back home, felt really really exhausted, but decided to switch on the com, wrote some stuff, found out that i had no more strength to hold the pen much less to carve words on paper and resorted to typing. i feel like sleeping but i dont want to sleep, get it? (:
and its good to be alone, because you do stuff without having to consider the feelings of others. i like it. being random and doing things spontaneously. it kills the monotonous and mundane life (:

yesterday was pms day. ohyes, i am capable of that, dont be surprised. although i am surprised myself. didn't know i was pms-ing till hermit told me, and i tried controlling my crappy mood. i hate pms-ing. it really sucks. for no apparent reason, i would be irritated. this is bad. no more pms-ing from me, i promise.

i am so tired, but i am back to my happy days. a swim does me good. going to swim some time soon if not i've to wait probably a week before i can swim again due to...
hint: above paragraph(:

i realise i am crapping(: heading out for lunch at j8 with cousins and stuff. tuition at 6 and i am going to collect my pay!(:
life is good.

shortlived

happy days don't last. they never do. everybody knows that. so i spend my happy days thinking how long it will last. and i wasted my happy days. when the happy days are over, i still cannot get over the fact that those happy days are gone.

so it sums up all i've felt today. sad, angry, confused, lost, empty, upset. i am affected pretty badly. i value people's opinions too much, far too much. its a flaw.
teach me to ignore, for ignorance is bliss.

my priorities. all wrong.
i feel like being with you every minute i am alive. i got to snap out of it and be realistic. i am very upset with myself. i need to find that very crucial balance. i value my family and friends. i got to show it. make my relationships work.
stupidly blinded by love.

and so, i spent my day being upset and disappointed, but not only with myself.

BYE WORLD

phew

the day has finally come. and all is well. i am very relieved. i am happy and contented.
this means more to me than almost anything in the world. to have the support that i can have. and for that, things are starting to look up. i really do love my parents no matter what (:

now, i can live in ease, without guilt. it means so much to me, it makes me want to cry. and those would be happy tears.

happy sigh. (:

perplexed

this isn't about me, and its really none of my business. but this is not right. i am keeping this matter to myself but from my point of view, its not right. and obviously, its very wrong. love isn't supposed to be that complicated. its a pity for things to turn out so ugly.

anyway, hi world. (:
life's good. tutoring is fun. i am fine. i love everything that's happening right now. and D will be back tomorrow. (: best thing on earth.

gosh, i am so excited and intimidated and scared and all. i hope everything would be fine. (:

and to conclude, that's no one's fault.

ten

the past few days have been tiring, hectic but fulfilling.
i love dogs. any kind. buy me a dog and persuade my parents that dogs aren't a hassle and i will love you for life (:

you know what i want now? i want to grow up. have my own house. a small cozy one with a small puppy. live my life anyway i want. be with a special someone. do not need to be super rich. just enough to have three meals a day and occasional luxuries. be a teacher. love my students. and my students love me. on weekends we will go to our parents. bring everybody out for a meal. gathering with friends. shopping. have fun. have kids. puppy grow old, have more puppies. got to buy a big house now. save up. get a big house with garden. all the dogs will run around in the garden. kids will play in the garden. buy tent. have picnic in garden. sleep in the garden. look at stars. kids go to school. kids grow up. kids are kind, happy, smart, loving, not annoying, strong-willed, fun, filial....
okay, in short, i want my life to stop at the time when i have kids and puppies and i want to grow up.

all right, i am tired and i want to sleep. (:
life's still great. i love tutoring.

what a beautiful world

life's great. had tuition today. i feel good. its awesome preparing and delivering it. haha. i read the first chapter of bio this afternoon before i leave house and i go there and spam everything to my tutee. you must know its been ages since i touched bio. hahaha. and she's superbly smart. i was kind of afraid. and i was really nervous at home. my heart was beating so fast but at least it went well. (:

there's another one tomorrow. less scary because its secondary one. (:
then there's another on sunday. less scary than the previous because its p3. whee.

this is good. i am starting to get busy! and money better come rolling in. (:
even if money doesn't roll in, its okay. i am occupied. which is awesome. (:

feel the joy. (: plus i am reading a lot now. especially at night. storybooks are nice. back to my primary school days when my sis and i finished almost all the short stories of the bookworm gang. i like edison the best. the one with the messy hair and always inventing stuff. i dont mind samseng. he's quite funny. but mimi is annoying. she's vain. smarty is too serious, but at least he is knowledgable. fat anne is quite nice. those are classic. and i realise i can be attracted to any book. (:

its day five. (:
i am tired. going to turn in early tonight. i hope i fall asleep when my head reaches the pillow and no more bad dreams. (:
which reminds me, i dreamt that i collected our results for As and instead of five subjects on my cert (my cert is in tamil or something. its a foreign language i cant read), there's only three! i was so scared. and stapled to my cert are two pieces of paper, saying that the other two of my papers are wet and the examiners cant mark it. so i got to retake my As again. and i dont even know what subjects are those. i was hoping they are not econs and GP. and i was really sad and scared and terrified and angry that i considered going to die. hahaha. but i woke up, heaving a sigh of relief. (:
and then i dreamt i quarreled with D. not really quarrel but he ignored me when playing mj the entire day and i was sitting right beside him. i got angry and storm off. hehehe. like i will get angry in real life. maybe i would. who knows. (:

enough typing and sounding horns. i need my bed and my book. (:
goodnight world. you are beautiful.

by the way, the vitamin c graduation song makes me emo nemo. don't listen. never ever. ):

time for miracles!

It's late at night and I can't sleep
Missing you just runs too deep
Oh I can't breathe thinking of your smile

Every kiss I can't forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cause I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cause I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cause I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us

I just wanna be with you
Cause living is so hard to do
When all I know is trapped inside your eyes

The future I cannot forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cuz I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
No I ain't giving up on us

Baby can you feel it (feel it)
You know I can hear it (hear it)
So can you feel me feel you....

You know it's time....

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on love

You know I ain't giving up on us
You know I ain't giving up on
Oh I ain't giving up on us


tell me, what's so fun about mousehunt? i have absolutely no idea. haha.

went to vivo today with family. saw wenkai and harry. that's such a coincidence. (: its nice to see familiar faces. haha. tomorrow's first tutoring assignment of my life. i am scared cum excited. geez. i hope i do well. i still want more. (:
i've loads of time to spare.
i am surviving. (:

gaga

i know i am slow but i am starting to like her. haha. she's so versatile. i love her powerful voice and the way she makes the song sound so different. excellent(:
please watch? (:

day one

i have this sick feeling in my stomach the whole day. i feel nauseous. i think this is what its all about.

i feel the need to be brave. to embrace everything. i am doing well, but my mind wanders at times. too many a time, i must say. i am thinking every second of the day when i am unoccupied. i need to keep myself busy. and at the same time, earn some money which equates to a job. this is not going to be easy, nor is it going to be tough. it will be all right. i just need MANY tutoring assignments. (:

i want to be strong, but sometimes, i just want to snuggle up to you, to let you protect me, to be by your side. its day one and i am missing everything about you. your soft touch, your light tickles, your small eyes, your lovely kiss, your tight hugs, your not-so-broad shoulders, your spiky and pokey hair, your face, your specs. everything.

i am really fine. i am doing well. i just need to get use to feeling nauseous. i am okay. i just get worried about how you are doing, whether you are used to your new lifestyle, the fitness routine and all. i dont want you to feel upset, unhappy, or anything negative. i want to be here, i cannot emphasize the fact, or how strongly i want you to know that i am always here for you. and ultimately, i want to give you confidence that you will do well. you will be fine, just like how i will be. (:

we will all be fine, and then, time is going to fly. (:

fearful

hi world, hi 2010.

i cant multitask.
but everything is fine. not good, but fine. so everything's going to be all right. (:

reminder to self: be strong(:

and stop the 'flirting'. bleah.