tonight was fun with meng and kim. it was really great. family members don't leave. friends do, people do, but not family. family will always be here for you.

and i feel like i need a break. i don't want to care about anybody. i don't want to let anybody affect my life, the way i live, the way i feel. i want to live life on my own. i want to get away from the people i care about and stop caring about them because i feel like i'm always neglecting myself and restricting myself and making myself live up to other people's expectations.

this break up is taking a toll on me. i've been thinking a lot, and i want OUT. i want out of all these thinking.

thinking for the class, my parents, my family, my friends and thinking for you. this is my life. i'm gonna be selfish for once and live for myself.

don't know how this will work out, but i feel so so so dead. its like i've never lived. i don't know if this is a good thing but, i feel like screwing up my life so bad.

now, when i typed it out, it is obviously a bad thing but i don't care anymore. i don't wanna give a shit about people. i feel so confined.

forget it, i will probably just sleep and i wouldn't have the heart to do this anyway. fuck me.