i really cannot make it

although i know how to swim.
but no matter how hard i try to swim towards shore, the waves would just engulf me and eventually i would still drown.

so, i totally don't think i can make it. because i really cannot.

although reality tapped me so hard on the head, i still longed for that teeny weeny bit of light that i would be able to stay afloat after my head is submerged.

deep down, i wanted so much to say 'i can make it' but i don't have the confidence to do so, so there!
i cannot make it.

cross fit today was all right. don't think there would be much muscle ache tonight. training tomorrow, and i have to wake up super early. let tomorrow pass in a breeze. and friday, saturday to pass ASAP. then daddy would be back.
and all would be better (:

i am scared. fearing for the worse. black.