all about taiwan-2

warning-emo post.

ogay, i just read a few of the taiwanese blogs and sad to say, it caused me to cry. i hate crying and this sucks ): and i don't cry easily (or so i thought) whatever, i am back here in spore and i got to live with it. today is much better than yesterday and i realised how much i miss friends here although i kinda feel detached from everybody except PKY. damn. it feels like i missed out on something/everything and that i am really gone for a super long time.
but no matter, things are adjusting nicely for me and i am glad about it.
my normal life is back. band concert tomorrow and before that, i am meeting fballers for dinner before proceeding to VJC NSSN.
cool stuff.

but as this post is supposed to be about taiwan, let me get back to the subject before i get out of point. so, as you can see, i was dreading our return to spore during the last few days of the stay in taiwan. it feels as if you cannot enjoy playing and going out and singing without worries anymore because you know that the final day is approaching and you could not do anything about it, but treasure even more, the times that you had left with your new found friends. and the feeling sucks. you know you got to go but you don't want to. for me, i am scared. scared that i couldn't control my emotions, because you know, i am kind of a weakling in controlling my tears and it really is a hindrance. i don't want to be a baby, but i feel like one when i cry. and so i cried. cried to the very max. and i thought i wouldn't cry at the airport because it feels like my tears ran dry at the last minute and it rocks to feel that way. i felt strong enough to handle every touching word and card that i am going to receive from everybody. but i was wrong. i cried upon receiving and reading the very first card i received from maojia. i think i am so dumb.

ogay, and DA ZHI spore students were the last to leave the gate because we were so attached to each other we didn't want to go but lao shi came over and ask us to and literally pushed us in. so dramatic. haha. and molly called our names and i had to turn around with mingxuan asking us not to turn because it really is saddening. and and and! i saw yusin cry. hehe. so now, you can imagine how depressing the whole thing is because yusin don't cry that easily.

and i did something really stupid.
i was searching in all my pockets the letter i wrote to molly, because hers was the last one i had to give.
me: shit, i can't find my letter to molly! how! (searching frantically)
leonard: wow, why your letter so small? (looking down to my hand)
me: omg, it is just here. (in my hand)

i am just holding it.

ogay, the end for the feelings i felt for the last two days, during farewell dinner and in the airport.